Resilience is a teachable skill

Tuesday, 17 Aug 2021

Some kids are resilient by nature: their temperament helps them to be mentally and psychologically tough. You know those kids… They get straight back up after a setback or disappointment. Rejection in the playground doesn’t rattle them. Unfortunately, not every child has such natural resilience.

The good news is that most of the research shows that resilience can be nurtured and developed, particularly when parents themselves are resilient and they actively foster it in their kids. 

Resilient kids share four basic skill sets - independence, problem-solving, optimism and social connection.  

From a resilience perspective, it is said that parents need to coach kids through some of their more challenging moments and then review what they may have learned for next time. By all accounts, research says, avoid solving all their problems for them.

We can promote a lasting sense of resilience in our kids by:

  • Having a positive attitude. Your attitude as a parent impacts on their ability to bounce back from some of the difficulties they face. Make sure you model a ‘you can do it’ attitude for your child when he meets some of life’s curve balls.
  • Looking for teachable moments. Many kids’ learning opportunities are disguised as problems. Make the most of these opportunities so that kids can grow and learn from some of the challenges they face.
  • Making kids active participants in the family. Active participation in a family develops the self-help, problem-solving and independence skills of kids that are necessary for resilience.
  • Building kids coping skills. There are plenty of strategies you can pass on to kids to help them cope when life doesn’t go their way, including acceptance, getting away for a while, and normalisation.

Promoting resilience in kids is a not a single event but a continuous process that requires adults to be supportive and empathetic when things don’t go their way. It also requires you as a parent to have faith in yourself, and your child’s ability to cope. 

Please feel as though you can contact us through the Counselling Department or relevant Stage or Year Coordinators for strategies to help with resilience.

You might also be interested in Gratitude

Image Credit: Education Hub